My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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