**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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