He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
