He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize