i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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