don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Ketchup is God's man juice
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize