My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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