I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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