i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
