okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
