My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
