My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
