Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
