I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize