My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
