Your face is a jimmy john
Don't make out with my wife yet
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
