she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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