just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
This is classic penis vs brain.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
