I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
All the doctor said was why
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
