1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
