alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
