Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Vodka?
Forever.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
