I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
