i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
