I just made out with a guy for $7.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize