Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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