Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
