well you can't waste a boner
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
