I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
