You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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