I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Randomize
