this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
