I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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