I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
