I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
