If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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