I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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