i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
