I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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