we have officially lost it.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
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