At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
