They should really pass out barf bags in church
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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