I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
