After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize