things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize