We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
