that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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