So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
No subtext here. People are naked.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
