i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
