Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
