just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
