what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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