I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
