whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im just a social blackout drinker.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
