your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
