When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
