just tell him i said nine months
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
