i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
