Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You're a waste of cheezeits
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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