I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
