moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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